Feeling my way home

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The idea of home tastes bittersweet to me.⁣

As a child my family moved around a lot, and then, as for a lot of ‘third culture kids’ came boarding school, which I’m sure I’ll talk about another time. But homesickness settles in your bones. So I did not find comfort, or a sense of belonging, in a physical home.⁣

Then there is the sense of feeling at home in our bodies. This I found equally difficult as a child, and even as a young woman. As I’ve said before sensitivity was a huge thing for me. The world flew like a wrecking ball through these sensory windows of mine, and often I felt like I was left sat amongst the rubble. ⁣

So when I started looking for help after the kids were born in the form of walking, Mindfulness, CBT, The Alexander Technique, Yoga... what I didn’t realise I was doing was gently trying to rebuild this sensory home of mine. Slowly, and gently I’ve been building the walls back up, and noticing the things that make my foundations rumble. ⁣

I’m starting to get a true ‘sense’ of home. I don’t know why but when learning and talking about senses, and feelings, and emotions, I find the language very difficult to understand. But something clicked for me recently when I read about the Buddhist belief that our six senses (the sixth sense is something I’m fascinated with now too) are doorways. ⁣

For me, and for my kids now (as it made sense for them too), this little house is a good way of noticing what we bring into our home through our senses, and finding what feels good. ⁣

I’d love to know if this makes sense for you guys too? ⁣Or have I gone a bit off piste over the weekend!? 😉