Blossom

Blossom

Blossom. To develop, grow, mature, progress, evolve, burst forth.

My girl @wolfie_biggins is on a creative streak at the moment and wanted to draw something for me again over the weekend. These gifts of hers are precious, not only because of what they are (which is beautiful) but because of what else they offer. This is a thing I'm slowly starting to realise about art that I'll confess I never truly 'saw' before. It's not only about the visual, surface of the image that moves me, but their power to go deeper, like the roots, digging into your soul.

These images are helping me to see that art is so much more, they are like feeling 'prompts'. I've not yet really looked into oracle cards, but that's something I think I could get into! So this image helps me reflect on myself and my relationship to blossoming. Something I feel like I maybe shy away from, for it requires courage, and change. It seems a bit 'showy' to me... like I'd like to stay as a seedling in the shade for fear of being seen, and not being the 'perfect' blossom. Which is interesting, as I realise now that, like nature, we need to step out and take up space, for without the flower there will be no seeds. Nature is an amazing teacher, as is my daughter.

Do you use oracle cards or other visual 'prompts' in your life that help you dig a tiny bit deeper?

Feels like love

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Our senses are like little doorways that can take us back in time.⁣

I think I'm going to keep coming back to our senses for a little while, as there are so many iterations of this concept that keep rolling around my head. Being an HSP (highly sensitive person - google it if you’re interested, I think it’s pretty fascinating) my acute sense of smell is a blessing and a curse. I literally gag at the smell of anything unpleasant (I'm not going to go into details). On the flip side, however, certain scents bring about really positive connections within me. I'm not always great with remembering people, or names, but scents seem to settle inside. (sidenote - essential oils get a huge thumbs up from me for helping these positive brain connections too!). ⁣

Today would have been Dad's birthday. I'll keep talking of him in here, as his death helps me process his life, and keeps me connected with him. My dad lived on the other side of the world from when I was 10. That was hard. But when I did get to see him, he gave me the safest, strongest, gentlest giant hugs that a man can give. His gift. And within this gift, was the gift of his scent. ⁣

Dad was always immaculately clean and smelled of aftershave, with a gentle whisper of whisky in the evenings. So the only thing I asked for after his death was the name of his aftershave. And the thing about this gift of his scent that I now have, is that I wear it every day on the inside of my left arm. Hugging doesn't come easily to me, but it's helping me learn to hug myself, and it helps me feel safe. For me, I get to feel love in a bottle of XS from Paco Rabanne. This may sound strange to you, but for me it's the most incredible gift.⁣

I received some gorgeous messages on Sunday's post, and Brenda shared with me that she 'feels' her mum through baking her recipes (smell and taste) and the music she used to listen to with her (hearing), and through holding sacred objects she used to touch. Isn't that incredible. I love that we can tune into this incredible feeling of love, and home, through our various senses. ⁣

So, here's a big one... what does love, or home, smell like to you?

Feeling my way home

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The idea of home tastes bittersweet to me.⁣

As a child my family moved around a lot, and then, as for a lot of ‘third culture kids’ came boarding school, which I’m sure I’ll talk about another time. But homesickness settles in your bones. So I did not find comfort, or a sense of belonging, in a physical home.⁣

Then there is the sense of feeling at home in our bodies. This I found equally difficult as a child, and even as a young woman. As I’ve said before sensitivity was a huge thing for me. The world flew like a wrecking ball through these sensory windows of mine, and often I felt like I was left sat amongst the rubble. ⁣

So when I started looking for help after the kids were born in the form of walking, Mindfulness, CBT, The Alexander Technique, Yoga... what I didn’t realise I was doing was gently trying to rebuild this sensory home of mine. Slowly, and gently I’ve been building the walls back up, and noticing the things that make my foundations rumble. ⁣

I’m starting to get a true ‘sense’ of home. I don’t know why but when learning and talking about senses, and feelings, and emotions, I find the language very difficult to understand. But something clicked for me recently when I read about the Buddhist belief that our six senses (the sixth sense is something I’m fascinated with now too) are doorways. ⁣

For me, and for my kids now (as it made sense for them too), this little house is a good way of noticing what we bring into our home through our senses, and finding what feels good. ⁣

I’d love to know if this makes sense for you guys too? ⁣Or have I gone a bit off piste over the weekend!? 😉