Caged Birds

cagedbirds.jpg

“A picture speaks a thousand words.”
I’ve been trying to understand how best to communicate recently. In trying to express what I think and feel, I have always felt that words have never worked well for me. I have never felt like I mastered the art of verbal, or indeed written, communication. I fumble with my words, and often feel like I’m speaking a foreign language. I get frustrated, and feel foolish, and shut down. Yet I do not think of myself as an artist either. Until recently, whenever I ‘play’ at drawing I find fear and comparison overwhelm me, and I retreat back into my mind. My own personal playground.
So how can I engage with the world if I find myself lacking in both arenas. I must stumble on regardless with my messy words and my imperfect images. As the thing I’m finding is that these images and words, slowly and gently are building a tiny picture of me. They are expressions of my self, and in doing that they are valuable.
The interesting thing that I’m only starting to recognise is when I’m trying to understand my thoughts and my feelings, I do it visually. I can’t ever really tell you how I feel, as I can’t express my senses using words. So maybe I am an artist after all. We are all artists, and we can smudge the lines between words and images, because these are only tools of self expression, they are not the experience itself, and we have to give ourselves permission to play with both, in order to share ourselves, and make connections with others.
This picture is how my experience yesterday looking around a school with my kids made me feel. I think this picture is worth a thousand words.
I’m still trying to find my song.